note: [OT] in this case refers to 'Off Topic" since it is not quite software test related, but in a sense, ties into some of my feelings at the moment. Also note, this is a work in progress that has been updated over a couple of years as I continue to add thoughts.
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Late in the summer of 1977, at the age of 9yrs old, I learned a lesson that has stuck with me for the last 30+ years. As with most lessons, it was one learned through an extreme situation, this particular time it happened to involve death.I grew up in a small farming community a couple hours north of Seattle, Wa. And like most small communities that draw on crops or weather or luck, there was, for many of us, a lack of financial stability, which is a nice way of saying that a whole lot of the folks in the area would be considered poor. As a result of this condition, many families still kept with the old school approach of housing, meaning that larger homes tended to have multiple generations of the family living under one roof.
My friend Matthew was one such case of this, with his grandparents sharing the same house with his parents, his two sisters, a brother in law and his twin nephews, for a total of 10 folks, comprising 4 generations, in a 5 bedroom farmhouse. Now, most of that isn't truly vital to the telling, but it establishes that my roots are pretty simplistic and organic compared to the more sophisticated city dwellers.
Matthew's mom would, for a small fee, watch over me while my own parents worked, however she refused to call herself a babysitter, realizing that it was less trouble to herd cats than keep an eye on two active boys in the prime of childhood. I spent a fair amount of time at Matts house, usually from about 7am till just after 6pm most weekdays, and as such, felt almost a part of the family, to the point that I too addressed his grandparents as Nana and Grandad.
Grandad was a nice old guy, and really, was far too nice for us to find his empty shell the way we did. Coming in from outside, Matt's mom had a rule that in order to eat lunch: We had to at least make an attempt to wash our hands. This normally meant we that we would barrel into the house, right to the bathroom, washed up a bit, then gulped down our food as fast as possible so we could get back outside. It was this near ritual that led us to find Grandad expired, seated a bit less than regally on the 'throne' in bathroom. Or at least MOSTLY seated, as he has sort of slid a bit. Eyes wide open, one showing a crimson red splotch that I still haven't forgotten, and mouth stretch into a tall O shape. He had died, on the crapper, in the most ineloquent manner possible.
We would be told later that his death was likely due to him straining in vain to dislodge some severely stuck poop, and that the strain led to an aneurism bursting in his head, killing him outright. Right then, after hearing that, and remembering how he looked, I decided that I never wanted to be found that way. As such, I found my own mantra to live by, that being 'Don't push too hard... the crap will work out in due time'.
I have to remind myself of this from time to time, particularly when I am learning something new and really struggling to get it. When I feel the frustration level rising, when I can feel the blood pounding in my temples and the headache I have self induced from trying too damn hard to accomplish something, I remember that face, and tell myself to back down a bit. And without fail, I eventually get my task done, my lesson learned and so on.
Now as to how this is even remotely related to Software Testing... I see myself, as well as others, trying too damn hard, pushing to learn, pushing to beat timetables, or pushing to find that deep, well hidden bug. And in that effort to push, we sometimes let the frustrations of not attaining our goals immediately get the best of us. Which leads us to push hard, which narrows our focus, and often, blinds us to possibilies that we would see if we weren't straining so much.
So, in my long winded, well meant eulogy of sorts, I offer this tiny bit of wisdom: 'Don't push too hard.. crap will work out when it is time.'
